Most people misunderstand the fear of public speaking. They assume it’s about the act itself—the words, the crowd, the stage. And because of this, they focus on fixing their speaking techniques or distracting themselves from the idea of speaking in front of others.
But here’s the truth: fear of public speaking isn’t about the act at all. It’s about the fear itself, and that fear didn’t start with the crowd.
Fear Is Self-Created
Let’s get one thing straight: fear isn’t real. It’s something created by the mind. It’s not tangible, and it doesn’t exist outside of you. Your mind creates fear for a reason—to protect you, to give you the attention you need, or to make you feel loved.
Why those three reasons? Because they’re the most fundamental human needs. From the moment we’re born, we need to feel loved, protected, and important to survive.
The Roots of Fear
So, why would your mind create a fear of public speaking? It’s not random—it’s your mind’s way of serving one of those basic needs:
To Protect You: Maybe you experienced a situation where speaking up led to criticism or rejection. Your mind remembers that and tries to shield you from repeating it.
To Get Attention: Fear can sometimes be a way of asking for support or acknowledgment.
To Feel Loved: If being quiet or “invisible” was tied to love or approval in your past, your mind may associate staying silent with feeling safe and loved.
Whatever the reason, the fear of public speaking isn’t about speaking at all. It’s about something deeper—something that happened to you, often years ago.
What Happened to You?
When you were a child, you weren’t afraid of being seen or heard. Babies cry out loud without shame. Little kids proudly show off their scribbles, no matter how messy. They aren’t afraid of attention, judgment, or rejection.
So, what happened? Somewhere along the way, something shifted.
Maybe you were told to “stay quiet” or “stop being dramatic.”
Maybe you were criticized or laughed at when you spoke up.
Maybe you learned that attention could bring ridicule or discomfort.
Whatever it was, it planted the seed of fear. And over time, that fear grew into a belief: “Speaking in front of others isn’t safe.”
Understanding Is Power
Here’s the most important part: once you understand where the fear came from, you can take away its power.
Fear thrives in the dark, where it feels overwhelming and untouchable. But when you shine a light on it—when you look it in the eye and understand its purpose—it can no longer control you.
Think of it like this: fear is like a shadow. In the dark, it looks huge and scary. But when you bring it into the light, you realize it’s nothing more than a trick of perception.
Facing the Fear
To overcome the fear of public speaking, you need to stop avoiding it and start facing it. Not just in the moment when you’re standing in front of a crowd, but by digging into its roots:
Why do you feel this way?
What purpose is the fear serving?
What happened to make you believe that speaking up is unsafe?
When you answer these questions, you unlock the door to freedom.
The Freedom of Understanding
Once you understand the cause of your fear, it loses its grip. The sweaty palms, the racing heart, the anxious thoughts—they all start to fade. Because fear only has power when it’s left unexamined.
And the best part? Once you’ve freed yourself from this fear, you’re free for good. The next time you step onto a stage or speak up in a meeting, you won’t feel trapped or controlled. You’ll feel calm, confident, and in charge of your own story.
The Takeaway
Fear of public speaking isn’t about the crowd—it’s about you. It’s about the stories your mind has created to protect you, get you attention, or help you feel loved. But once you understand those stories, you can rewrite them.
So, look your fear in the eye. Shine a light on the dark corners of your mind. And remember: once you understand your fear, it can no longer control you.
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Disclaimer: This content is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.